Dear 18 Me

Dear 18 year old me,

Fight Club and American Beauty are indeed great movies but they do not need to inform your entire philosophy on life.

‘I don’t know’ is a perfectly acceptable answer to all questions on faith. You won’t find a better one.

It is important to appreciate fantasies for what they are and stop trying to make every one a reality. Fantasies are rarely as exciting as you wish them to be. Chasing after them will only make you appreciate yourself and others less.

Don’t date someone who is exactly like you. It sounds wonderful – but remember that your insecurities and problems will be magnified. No one needs that.

You’ll spend too much time in a fantasy relationship, I’m not going to tell you to avoid it, because you won’t listen. Dive in head first. Return the jewelry but keep the paintings. Rebuild.

You aren’t going to like what Mom and Dad have to say about a lot of your decisions. Listen to them but be stubborn, fight your case and in the end do what you want. This will help you to understand exactly why you are wrong. This isn’t the easiest course of action but it is the only way you’ll feel completely comfortable with yourself and your own decisions. Remember though, you’re still probably wrong. Pay for it later.

When problems exist that you can’t fix – let them go. Stop hanging on. Focus on what you can do. You can do a lot.

Even though you think the song ‘Leader of Men’ by Nickleback is pretty cool – keep your expectations of the band low. You will find out they are terrible again and again and again and again.

As you can imagine, Naptster is gone. Figure out ways to circumvent DRM without risking your personal freedom. Then use your knowledge of computers and networks to provide service to organizations with lofty goals that you believe in. Providing service you believe in will be much more rewarding than merely collecting a paycheck.

You still need a paycheck. Don’t be stupid. Hippie.

Treat Lauren better. She deserves it. Break up.

In your relationships when ‘I’ becomes ‘we’ run away. You aren’t your best self when you identify as someone else’s better half. Find a girl who can respect that. Marry her.

You’ll never be able to repay Mom and Dad for everything they’ve done. Treat them kind. Appreciate what you have. The only repayment is to lead a life filled with joy. They understand.

You’ve got a lot left to learn. Be open. Opportunities to learn are everywhere. Find them.

Maybe consider talking sternly to John, don’t throw him off the stairs. That is dumb.

Remember to pay artists for quality content – it’s important to support creative arts.

Death is coming. Do what you can to slow its progress. Don’t worry about it but be prepared for it.

Quit taking French classes. Spanish is much more practical.

Sincerely,

29 Year Old Me

P.S. – Since this is 29 year old me that means somehow we’ve made it this far. I’ll spare you the details about why that is extraordinary. You’re better off not knowing. Just remember: you are not alone, head north, find the lights, think about Mom, Rachel and Brad. Dad will take care of the rest.

(Submitted by Michael, age 29)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear 18 Year Old Me,

Put your AP Physics homework away and have some FUN (and get some sleep!). Believe it or not, staying up all night studying every night isn’t really going to put you at that much more of an advantage after college. You’ll be a whole lot happier if you spend high school surrounded by friends instead of text books.

Don’t give up Spanish–believe it or not, your life won’t always consist of white people who speak English. You will greatly improve your professional life and won’t have to try to relearn everything.

You know that boy you are dating? You will get engaged to him and get pregnant by the time you are 20. You’ll spend a long time waiting for him to become a man but it won’t happen. It is only once you are pregnant that you realize how terrible he has treated you and that you deserve more, at least for your child’s sake. You will be so much happier without him, even on your loneliest days, than you ever were with him.

That baby, by the way, will change your life and make you a much better person. Make sure you thank Mom and Dad for all the help they give you so you can finish college and provide her with the best life possible

Finally, please don’t be so insecure. You are a smart, beautiful young woman. I know you feel ugly and at times like you want to give up but KEEP GOING! LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Oh and by the way, you will find your dream job…be patient when it seems like you won’t

Love,
Tanya

(Submitted by Tanya, age 23)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear me,
Don’t waste time on that guy: you won’t marry him, you’ll survive. Get your act together, move on.
Enjoy every single moment you spend with family and friends. You won’t know how much you love and miss them until you only get to see them once a year.
Attend those family reunions that feel so awkward and forced. Years later you will spend time with a great family that offers everything you ever wanted but it won’t be YOUR family.
You will only fall for a few guys. Be careful, you will get hurt. Don’t stop believing the right man is out there also looking for you. We both still believe it.
Exercise. When you get older you’ll wish you were more proficient in anything involving physical activity. It’s easier to exercise than living under an endless diet.
Dance. NO EXCUSES.
You get a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to move to another country at the age of 25 – Surprise! You’ll love it while you live in a big city. You’ll move to a smaller town: there’s your chance to prove yourself you can survive on your own. It won’t be easy. We are both still struggling with it.
Learn how to make friends. One good friend helped you out on your first move. You’ll be on your own the second time.
Being strong doesn’t mean you can do it all by yourself. You’ll need help, friends and big hugs. You hate hugs, don’t you? Get over it. You will miss having someone hugging you all the time.
You grew up to become a strong, independent woman. Embrace it. And hang on; the best part is still to come!

(Submitted by Claudia, age 29)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear 18-Year-Old Danah Ruth,
You’re feeling intense pressure to figure out what you want to do with your life. Let me tell you right now that the pressure will not disappear any time soon. So stop stressing about it and focus on God’s true plan for your life, which is not wrapped up in university, or career, or marriage. Focus on becoming all that He wants you to be – and the key to that is to never say no to Him. When He asks you to do something, respond with a joyful and expectant “YES!”
Speaking of marriage…you won’t get to marry your first serious boyfriend. Try not to be bitter and sad about it for the next 5 years, okay?
And you know your “I-will-never-go-to-Africa-because-it’s-hot-and-there-are-termites-and-I’ve-heard-diarrhea-is-a-daily-occurrence” attitude? Get over it. You’re going to find out sharing a bathroom with termites isn’t so bad, and neither is the heat. And you’ll discover this amazing drug called Immodium…
Hey, when you go to Bible school for a year, don’t pretend to be shy when you’re actually being a snob. You’ll live to regret that kind of behaviour, and miss out on some wonderful could-have-been relationships.
Lastly, don’t worry about what comes next (I know, I already said that at the beginning, but I’m saying it again because you need to get it into your curly little head). Don’t limit yourself. Just say, “YES!”
Love,
23-Year-Old Danah Ruth

(Submitted, obviously, by Danah Ruth, age 23)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

While you are stuffing your faces with food and almost falling asleep on various pieces of furniture, you should take the time today to look around the house and find some old photos of yourself.
Like, say – when you were 18 years old.
You should then take a picture of them for, say – the sake of posterity.
Then, you might wanna ask some of your family for insights to your life when you were around, say – 18 years of age.
And after all of that, you should think about writing yourself a letter.
Like when you were, say – 18 years old?

After you do all of that, you should submit what you have compiled to this site, say – for the sake of humanity.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Dear Self,

You don’t know who you are, and you’re playing a game. Stop pretending you know.

But a dummy camera as a hallpass for teachers to assume you’re on Yearbook Club? Genius.

Your church is about to disappoint you in some awful ways. Again.
Don’t give up on them. They’ll figure a lot of it out in time.

Stop having secret, obsessive crushes.

You’re going to move across the country, and will barely keep in contact with any of your h.s. buddies. This is mostly your fault. It’s easier to feed a fire, than to restart one from scratch, so keep up with them.

Your brother IS your best friend. Make sure you let him know.
Listen to his advice.

Mullet Boy is going to cut that hair off. Instead of starting that petition to have him grow it back, just be his friend. His real name is Casey.

The Bible is more than just fodder for internally judging everyone around you. In fact, it’s not that, at all.

Being responsible and feeling obligated are two wildly different things.

You know you want a mentor, so seek one out.

You’ve just fallen in love with camp ministry. Act on that.

You do have a soul. At some point they’ll start calling your kind ‘gingers.’

Get your hair cut. It’s going to be an idol to you, and an icon to others. You wanna be known for more than that curly fro? Start by getting rid of it.

You’re actually going to love pulp in OJ, someday.

ps: Blockbuster folds, and a thing called Netflix makes billions.

(Submitted by D.A., age <40)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Hi Jon,

So, you’re now a freshman at the Moody Bible Institute and you’re probably thinking about how different college is from, well, anything else you’ve ever done. Speaking of Moody… you didn’t quite see yourself at MBI, did ya? It was law school or bust and then, BAM, God changed your path. You’ll have the MIT trip to Ecuador to thank for that.

I don’t want to ruin too many of the surprises for your future but let’s just say you’ll be amazed where God takes you in the next ten years. I will give away a few spoilers though… (shhh, you’re welcome.)

In about a week you’re going to sign up for English Comp. II with Miss Hecht for next semester, not because you want to take a class from her but because you know she will stretch your writing. Get ready for some ugly assignments and grades in your ongoing hatred of English. You may laugh at this but your love for writing will turn into a passion of yours. In fact, you’ll get to the point of writing every day…and loving it!

Since we’re on the topic of love, that girl you like right now? Yeah, don’t worry about her. Sometime after college you’ll get invited to a Halloween party by a good friend of yours. A word of advice: GO! You’ll figure out the rest later. And no, I’m not going to give away what year it will be.

Random thoughts here: Your taste in music sucks but that’s okay. In about six weeks you’ll come across Coldplay for the first time, which will be a manageable springboard to good music. Learning what good music is will change your entire perspective on your major. Some advice on personal hygiene? Shave your goatee and get a good haircut, please. Learn to listen more than you speak and hey, since we’re here, learn to think before you speak, too.

There’s more I could share but I tried to give you more advice to follow instead of being a fortune teller. You will go through troubles and valleys in the next nine years that will break your will, your pride, and even shake your faith. Don’t worry though, they will shape you into the man that God has called you to be and you’ll have plenty of stories to share in the future.

You’re a great guy (when you’re not acting like a sarcastic smart aleck, by the way, work on that) and you have so many opportunities in front of you. The best advice I can give you is to keep pursuing Christ with everything you are. The next best advice I can give is that when something called Twitter is invented, BUY ALL OF ITS STOCK THAT YOU CAN! You’re welcome!

Love you, man, and happy birthday to me, to us (that sounds weird), okay, happy birthday to me.

(Submitted by Jon, age 27)

 To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear 18 year old me,
Sorry. You haven’t started your fairy tale life yet with prince charming, but there are a few things to report on:

1) You are living the big city life.

2) You did land a great job.

3) Life is not what you thought it would be. At all.

Let’s expand on point # 3

He’s never going to be the man you need him to be. MOVE ON. Or wait 4 years and get a screwed up head about relationships.

Keep loving people as a top priority. ‘Grades’ will not drive 20 miles to get you a Starbucks when you’re roasted by emotions.

You do not have God figured out. At all. And you need him much more than you think. Invest in that relationship as much as you can.

You are happiest when you think about yourself the least.

Give people grace. You screw up all the time.

Hug your family every chance you get.

Take a writing class.

Don’t spread yourself to thin.

Keep your ‘grumpiness’ as a check for how much Jesus time you have had lately.

Stop wearing Abercrombie. Seriously.

Hear grandma’s stories.

When you find people who make you funnier, keep them around.

Dream big.

Loving people hurts. Pain follows love. LOVE the cuss out of people every chance you get. You never know how many chances you will have.

Life is hard. Take stock in that. And know that joy comes in the morning.

You’re doing pretty good, but the sooner you can realize that life is not about you, the sooner we can start changing the world.

Love,
The more mature and beautiful you

(Submitted by Michaja, age 27)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear 18 year old me,

-That boy you spent 6 years with, break up with him before you go to college.  You will spend two years of your college experience trying to make it work with him.  Guess what, it doesn’t work…and you missed out on a lot of fun because you spend a lot of nights in your dorm room crying over who he was with and what he was doing.

-Do not regret dating him.  Because of him, you stayed out of a LOT of trouble in high school.

-Do not open up a credit card.  It will do nothing but allow you to spend money you don’t have.

-Take college seriously.  It isn’t as easy as high school.  You actually have to try.  They don’t seperate the smart kids, from the not so smart kids.  You are all on the same pace, so keep up.

-Appreciate home cooked meals.  I remember being severly disappointed when I heard my mom was cooking pot roast for dinner.  I would now always pick that pot roast over a restaurant any day.

-Your parents know what they are talking about.  You will start to see that having parents as “friends” isn’t all it is made out to be.  Because my parents weren’t my friends growing up I learned how to be polite.  I learned when to say Thank you.  I learned the correct way to treat people.  Your parents will never stop teaching you these things, but as you grow older, they will become your friends.  Give it time, and let it happen.  Don’t resist it!

-Their are other way your parents will spoil you besides with money, and trust me, you are better off.  It is a pretty amazing feelling when you realize your parents will drop anything to be there for you.  That feeling and security goes a lot further than the Ambercrombie and Fitch wardrobe you begged for.

-You learn pretty quickly the type of people you want to surround yourself with.  Hold on tight to these people.  They will be your best friends.

-Exercise.  You will hate it.  But you will hate yourself even more when you realize how unhealthy you have truly become.

-Put money into savings.

-Your sisters will be your best friends.  Your nieces and nephews will change your life.  You will learn that family is truly EVERYTHING.  Treat them like it.

-You will fall in love with a man who cherishes family as much as you do.  You will meet some dirtbags along the way.  Its ok, make mistakes when dating.  It will make you appreciate him more when he comes along.

-Many people will tell you it is impossible to make a career out of radio.  Stick with it.  You will prove them wrong.

-Two men over 20 years older than you will become two of your best friends.  They will teach you alot.  Let them.

-Brett Favre will break your heart.  Get ready for it.  Don’t be so angry.  An even better quarterback will come along.

(Submitted by Katie, age 29 )

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.

Dear self,

wow 18! what a big day, right? bet you didn’t think that day would effect your life so much, and believe it or not, in a good way. Your so called “friends” told you to **** off today, on your birthday of all days. You did some crazy stuff that night. Yelled screamed, said things you didn’t want to say, but its done and hey i’m glad you (I) did. Zach right now you think your life is over, its not worth it, you feel you’ve lost it all. Zachary Allen Beaver you are going to be fine, i promise. you will meet the best person to ever come in your life, Zachery James Wroblewski. The two of you will stay together forever. Now go wipe away those tears and log onto Facebook and see the status asking for help, thats how it will all begin.

Love yourself,
Zachary Allen Beaver

(Submitted by Zachary, age 19)

To submit your own letter to yourself at 18, click here.